Nothing But The Truth

In Rome, there is an ancient stone statue, possibly a Roman drain cover, with an enduring, if somewhat odd legend that shows, if nothing else, the love we humans have for a good yarn. Known as The Mouth of Truth (La Bocca della Veritá), it depicts a river god with mouth and wide eyes. Rather than just admire it, or even worship it, some ancient soul, doubtless wanting to boost the tourist trade, came up with the idea that if you put your hand in the mouth and told a lie, you would lose your hand. It's just the sort of thing, like 'Wet paint' signs, that tempt us – in this case, to shove a hand in, tell a whopper, and see if anything happens. Nowadays tourists queue up to try their luck or test their partner's fidelity, but no one has left the site saying, 'Look, no hands!'

In olden days, however, the story goes that a husband accused his wife of naughty goings-on and ordered her to shove a mitt in the stonework and swear she had been utterly faithful to him. If this were a moral tale she would have done so and her arm would have dropped off in front of the multitude, giving her the only option of earning a living by becoming a model for statues of Venus, which never seem totally equipped in the upper limb department.

But what she did was spot her lover close by. He came over and kissed her – whereupon she declared him to be a complete stranger in those parts and obviously mad to boot. She was clearly doing herself down here as unattractive, but the ploy did enable her to put her hand in the orifice and declare that she had never been kissed by anyone except her husband and the recent madman, who was promptly run out of town.

Therefore, as she had not told a lie, but had satisfied her lord and master's demand for truth, her honour and marital status were preserved, and she was able to withdraw the body part, count the fingers, and find them all present and correct.

The Mouth of Truth then lost its credibility. In one version, it simply didn't take kindly to being tricked and refused to work again. Perhaps more likely is that the townsfolk knew a lot more about the wife's goings-on than her husband did. Unless, like many a mob, they were simply disappointed there wasn't a gory outcome. Doubtless there are many Irish soccer fans who would like Thierry Henry to take the test – and fail, preferably before that game and 'handy' goal that sent France to South Africa.

So, when sticking your digits into a stone mouth in Rome, be careful to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but a lie that can't be proved against you.